sylvia plath wearing saint laurent

SHE WEARS FAUX PAS FUR TO HIDE HER SOUL

SUNK SAD EYES SITTING ON A FAKE SMILE

her energy evades her 'evangelists'

    a sexual prowess less often direct

               raw white diamonds reflect

   the uncouth and everlong prospect

                a wandering soul without any trace

everyone walks so fast past her on the sidewalk you'd think time was running away or something

each instant her EXISTENCE is PERSISTENCE

"how INSISTENT is EXISTENCE"

yet PERSISTENTLY INCONSISTENT.

a bona fide pro at letting you know nada

her spirit[ed/less] youth trapped in louboutin shoes

fragments of a face watch her in the mirror each morning

        rub red eyes raw while she's still yawning

it ends on Wednesday [without any warning]

    how to stop the thoughts from spawning

no haghahahahahshsahahahaaha i dont ruminate

i don't ruminate 

    i don't think about it no no .

            hey siri how to stop brain

                                                                                ––i fOunD thiS on thE wEb

my brain is jumbled glugluglgulgulguglguglugq

                        i don't know where its gone–my lobot has been omised 

being = be-ing ≠ being, it's more just "im having". and im not even having im just pretending to have so people see me as  ––[11001inzerrt blank]

nomnom nom , i consume to become

    SHE SPLIT IT INTO THREE-HUNDRED-AND-SIXTY-FIVE

[anything you desire, it's all yours baby]

NO NO NO NN O NON ON NO NON ONO NON ON ONO NON ONO NON ONO NON NON ONO

                SHE TALKS TO APOLLO BUT CRAVES DION

                THESE BOTTOMLESS BRUNCHES AND REFUNDABLE TICKETS

                THE DANCE OF PILLS AND THE BREATHING OF THE MOSHPIT

                THE THOUGHT EXPERIMENT OF "COULD I LOVE AGAIN"

                                            THEN HIDE IT BEHIND A TONIC AND GIN

xxxtra illicit [pills] take me away !tRIPADVISOR© CERTIFIED!

            and then i can be better

no brain for me no no no
ooga bogoa what i need
                                        please
murder my mind slowly
fabricate a life
                        something interesting

drink because i love [$16.50] beer its so good and doesn't taste like wet bread 

kill my brain nice and bubly pls

gaze into the abyss its all in front of me

                inhale fumes, eyes swirling

i swear i can see myself in ur eyebalz, dingo dingo dingo BINGO

numnumnmunmnmunm

                you look like a fucking IDIOT

                    yea you

          me

                idiot

                            stupid prick

                                    if a cafe has one star it wont see me [TRIPADVISOR© CERTIFIED]

i need GOOD EATS certified trusted by the people and only the people 

BECAUSE WHAT THE PEOPLE SAY THEY ARE, THE POEPLE IS

LIKE IF HE SAYS HE'S OKAY HE'S DEFINTELY OKAY AND NOT ESCAPING THE IMPENDING ENDING OF A [LIFE/LOVE/DREAM] OR HIDING BEHIND COUNTLESS INAUDIBLE SCREAMS FOR [help! I'm alone!] – OUR EYES COLLECTIVELY CONNECTED THROUGH LIKES AND LOOKSMAXS AND LOCK-INS.

I MISS YOUR EYES AND OUR SOULS INTERTWINED

BUT WAS I LOOKING AT A MIRROR THE WHOLE TIME

¿CAN YOU REMEMBER TEN OF THE THOUSANDS OF 

PIXELS ON YOUR SELECTED 3*DOPAME–MACHINE™?

TO FORGET THAT u/SPONTANEOUSH WAKES UP EACH

 MORNING AND ISNT JUST ALIVE ON MY SCREEN.

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

we are collectively obsessively spectacle-searching

    to cure avoid

their fac[e]ade melted onto their soul, the plastic dripdripdripdrip to the floor

        their eyes seep and sell truths of empty

put on ∫ blacked-out PRADA© specs begging for our streamer [GOD] to anoint us, reborn as [anti-]Lazarus

    the crowds are lonely because the crowds are lonely

the has-beens of bars and the emptiness in eyes

                a drink to quench the thirst for past destinations.

    you climb to fall and learn of pain.

        if you've ever let yourself feel

you know the equal and opposite reaction is real
        so the cowards don't get close

 the neck crankers crank

    pedestal + plug into their [DEITY] of choice

                  because reality is hard and it is lonely

so better invest in someone that doesn't know me

IT IS JUST YOUR PEOPLE THAT MATTER

i live in my head but i don't ruminate I'm ona cleanse..
        whatever you do is you
                                              so do everything for the fuck of it

there's no reason to otherwise

and this party means nothing boo hoo– but this party also means nothing so fuck yea

SOMETIMES LIFE'S A BITCH AND YOU JUST KEEP LIVING

-d

i dont get me but i will

the invisible wall between me and my reflection

who do you see when you look at me

    i look in your eyes and see myself

                    wearing a chrome mask 

        and the skin of a human

the revered dream of a lost cause

the collective effervescence of cold sores

 sometimes i pretend to be normal in normal situations because otherwise the normal people will think im not normal. but normal people are weird. i don't think I'm my brain or my body. there's something else there

i look up from the bottom of the mountain and i see nothing but the moon. i climb and see behind me but i look forward and i cant make out anything through the trees. i walk in for eternity in a timeless attempt at understanding. i kept walking up mountains and because thought i wanted to get to the top but then i realised that climbing mountains is fun. and sometimes falling is apart of it, sometimes u get a scar but it reminds you that you were climbing mountains and then you see someone else's scar and you think dam we're really just climbing mountains here 

but i cant understand people pretending they don't have scars

        the burn reminds you that you're alive
                and now you know the bliss that comes with cold water
                and the feeling of a first kiss
                and those late night phone calls where time doesn't exist
                            and my heart beats quick
        i remember taking my first breath.

it feels like too many times too recently
            I've been told I'm disillusioned.'

i didn't even know what that meant

and then i learnt its being in a funk or to be down the mouth or the 'why the long face' –

a horse walked into a bar and said I'm thirsty and the bartender obliged and the horse replied you cant force me to drink that cunt

i feel like id rather be disillusioned than illusioned
                            but then i wonder

why do i always expect more

do i expect too much

can i ever be satisfied

is being happy just being happy

i think that

success is a subtractive process

because somehow i can never do enough in a day
excess incarnate
            because i refuse to ache of unfulfilled potential
                                                                                        or be scared of who i could've been

my life in my hands

don't die wondering

i choose this fig
            what i do for my people
        the next generation
                i want to change the timeline

I want to plant a seed whose tree provides shade for generations.

the 100-year-project

all i know be patient
                and show up
you only win by losing
they'll either pay you for your soul or to experience it

so I'm conflicted when i think should i close my book a bit
am i leaving my book open

no.

        find yourself in me because i find myself in you
                                                    i am the people the people are me

    we are the culture, so

create with your soul, pay attention to the finest details no one sees but you. big things are just more small things. and how you do one thing is how you do everything. and sometimes you don't get the roll of the dice and sometimes you don't perform how you wanted and sometimes u weren't ready for the opportunity. but if you're to ever do it, that's just food for the journey. tomorrow is another turn. one day or day one. because if on your deathbed you can say with a full chest and a straight face - yes i tried my best, with everything in my power i TRIED AND WORKED, but it just didn't go my way, you still win.


know that earth is just a rock without the voices of art

sincerely yours

-d