what was written

nero

this crazy crazy man

loved by the people of rome

killed two of his wives

kicked a wife to death who was pregnant

lowered taxes for the people

kept them happy and housed

his mother once begged for death to be relieved of her relations to him

stab me in the stomach where the monster was nurtured

aLLEGEDLY

you see,

nero wasn't liked by his peers of the senate,

and political enemies were the main ones recounting him

his name has likely been dragged through the dirt.

engraved in the timeline

its weird hearing about people who lived

i find myself relating to the humanity of figures so ancient

they are no more than words on a page

and spoke in tongue that we could never understand

but i understand a part of something that has been passed through ancient to modern hands

i was recently reading Homer

that guy is fake (maybe)

but there's no way that the storylines have stayed the same as its been passed down 3000 years

what changed?

what niche references to lives lived have been lost to time?

how lucky are that after thousands of years of history the good guys won every time?

right?

history is more like an intergenerational narrative

sure, learn from the past blahablahnlah.

    i used to believe all that was written was true

but they easily could waffle as much as i am right now

how many innocent people are in jail?

the mother who watches the man who murdered her son walk free

what happened < what is widely accepted

what would the world be like if hitler had won?

global aryan supremacy? 

would jewish people still exist?

would i exist?

my family migrated from europe post ww2

how many people would've wedded another?

how many families would never have existed?

judgement

of myself and what I've been doing

a choice freeze

impostor syndrome

Sometimes I finish a [insert here] and surprise myself

sometimes i start a [inser]t and fucking suck

some fina; thoughts coz this shit been sitting in the bank too long:

how does information get lost

how doesn't someone just remember it

word of mouth get lost in translation? generational?

When will instagram die out

that vile, parasitic beast

what was written is nearly is funny is what's been said'

most of everything is made up and you are tricked by a magician each day

it/'s also a load of fuckshit and dickheadery regardless

stop taking life so seiriosly and just live

-d

willy prom walking

 a collation of quick thoughts post-hike:

                                                        everything looks big but it isn't

    

        i put myself in a position to suffer because it is so absent in my life

    

                                                                                    common comforts are taken for granted

    

mountains set around a cove in a twilight sky is an ideal environment to sit quietly in

                                the world is outside, and society is a box

    grasshoppers are loud (but steg's sleeping mat is louder)

                                                                                    we can really get used to anything

                    big2 is card game of the year

    leeches are smaller than i thought but somehow more disgusting

                                                            wallabies don't give a fuck about u

    cold water makes you feel alive

                                                sand (in context of mess) is a colossal piece of shit to deal with

my strugle

innfna'NF

i want to throw up

qinfmgkqm

qngiP[[

AKGMMM

i wish at some point Icould stop my brain from spinning mafkpppqooamjga

jgaojga

øøøå)

vkj

oejojoga

ojemaojm

vam

it's like burning but more dissolving in an acid vat and slowly feeling every cell in your body become devoured through an extremely slow and painful chemical reaction calledLOVE

ja

gj

jooo

aoj passion and pain

ojagj

g

ajv

when you die what life will flash before your eyes 

gggg

how to be a better person.

distant memories

im a different person to old me

and when i see people who know old me

its like a little bit of old me crawls in

and i don't need the old me

dave in retrograde

a conversation about a party i didn't know

a grimace creeps on his face

contemplating

justification of why i wasn't invited

and finally an invite I'm not even sure i was seeking

finally.

i am socially validated through a facebook event

you see

caterpillars become goo before they become butterflies

electronic shocks say that they still remember pre-goo them

i remember pre-goo me,

when do i flap mywings better

sometimes i just crash into the ground below and it gets hard to get up

but i still do get up

sometimes i don't even know why

i remember riding my bike down to the beach

to my friends house

my legs building with lactic acid,

bubbling and broiling beneath my skin

the wind blowing against my face

i felt so alive

i always say the hardest weather to ride in is wind

this invisible force that always wanted to push me away from where i was trying to go

my brain is akin to the wind

really,

i have not been able to escape the whirring thoughts inside my brain

the storms that plague my days

sometimes i find comfort in the chaos

sometimes i yearn for sun

why do we all feel so alone?

do i have not friend nor foe?

a different perspective, the same one

the sinking reality of being.

the most and least connected to people at the same time

the flicker of brands and names that don't know me

and provide nothing to me

my eyes dance behind their lid

caesar said the best way to die would be sudden and quick

-d

to you

     to you i seem like a

moment

but to me, there could be more

than i originally bargained for

i forget who i used to be

i know you do too

and to you, that's hard

but to me, I've let go

because the tides are always pulled

by the moon above my head

and the river keeps flowing

while people do too

love is never decisive

unconditionally conditional

always with strings attached

ready to pull when things turn

when i hear your voice change

and your face turns to one i don't know

i recognise the finite

and begin to understand change

i swear i don't get love

I'm only one to experience

i can't say i understand you

because i barely understand me

the entertainment complex

clink clink

mmoarpajrmmam (the trumpet flirting with the warm air)

the felt booth feels warm

a Moscow mule crisp, sharp

chitter of conversationalists

an echo of laughter

entertainment has a way of keeping the masses in check

the greatest threat to an empire is those who are bored

and those who do something when they are bored

crime,  coercion against a state, thinking (2hard)

to think is good, but to think too far away from what everyone else thinks...

we are malleable

we are numbers

3481 needs more happy juices

gluoink glorg glorp glorb

9257 on the edge

emergency administration

make that man smile

I SAID MKAE THAT MAN SMILE

feeeeeed your people

i mean feed them

good foods, mmmm 

delectable

water your people

house your people

they will be your people

they will serve you

the a way of life

________________________________________________________

binbin ice cream slp slip icec ream slp slp

ultimate glizzy machine

the lowest form content

my brain has become accustomed to switching off

and consuming

gloprgorlp azonk gorakloa glug

and it begs the question

is there more than this

i like fun

entertain me

but why am i a slave of my own brain

i pick my poison but i don't want any ofthem

i fear i will become apart of the epidemic that is

status quo

where i run from the responsibility of my choices

of action

                when do i really learn to learn

to fuck up and keep going?

the crucial thing is to find a truth which is the truth for me;

an idea i would die by, one that makes it worth living

Kierkegaard

It’s easy to waste away in the infinite

It’s eSy to not think

It’s easy to be oppressed

i like easy

bnging slrp

ride it like a cowgirl

slrp slrp slrp

i just woke up from a trance stuck inside of the reels alogirthm

i laughed, i looked out my window in front of me

i realise that i am sick

I watch my parents waste in front of shit content 

i love them dearly

but why does fake slots take up hours of your day

AR YOU NOT ENTERTAINED>?????

-d 

the information era

i recently was housesitting and they had cameras inside their house

little beady lenses pointing straight at me

naturally, i covered them when i arrived,

coz no one needs to know what I'm doing

fast forward:

cleaning up preparing for their return

i find the cameras swivelled,

angles uncovered, the revelation

that the watchful eye had purpose

to surveil

most intersections have cameras now

are they manned?

are there eyes on the other side of the lens,

peering into my car

watching when i skip a song while driving

i get a 400 $ fine and 3 points

cookies sound so nice and gentle

you are tracked

and profiled

into folders

and folders

and folders

a data broker (real job)

collects personal information

legally

and sells it to corporations

congratulations

your name and interests have been commodified

you now have a target on your head

chkchkboom

ads for yussef dayes concert

privacy is a modern myth

you are watched and heard

i want to unsubscribe

knowledge is power

i was corrected in my first philosophy class this semester

i said that we are in some sense, smarter

than those before us

she said no, but simply more knowledgabkle

because really,

you get given a bunch of rocks and sticks and calculate the distance between us and the sun

hm

but i am now taught how to feed the system

youtube documentaries teach me more than my lectures

i am severely disappointed 

i am both bored and uninformed

i get shitty webinar deliverables as my formal education

and i will be "more qualified" than average joe.

is this a bias against my studies

am i ungrateful

and we have a tendency to take what we are taught for bible,

a lot of science is just theories useful for explaining things

is it necessarily real?

take aristotle

that man thought things were the way they weren't

and people believed him for centuries,

 what do we REALLY know?

signing out

fugin work tmrw morn

-d

OIH HIST

PS>>>.

here;s a tune for your week

imleftwithitall

random team generating

 

RANDOM TEAM ORAGAnISEDt> / GENERATOR

et=nter w/ comma-separated):

 

how many teame:

 

i normally use a generator like this when i am organising teams for pong or other assorted games, honorable mentions = beer pong and that's probably it tbh

human madness

i am mental

you are too

i cant be convinced that we are normal

we do the things we do, because..?

evolutionarily, 

we have been consumed by an unrelenting curiosity.

understanding and knowing is important to us

before us were neanderthals, before them some other dons

but curiously, neanderthals didn't explore and travel like early humans did...

they stayed pretty local around today's europe and asia minor.

where we, for reasons unknown, decided to just go

where?

who the fuck knew???

you but 10 000 years ago, standing out on the edge of the ocean, looking out and think

ay fuk it, looks like a good day to build a boat

how many people died before they got that right

how many times did we fuck it up and keep trying

our innate curiosity seemingly the only driving force

you can't tell me we're not mad -

but we're equally brilliant

coz if you check the scoreboard, we're the one's who survived

neanderthals went extinct after playing the safe game

we went to the moon- yknow that big rock in the sky that spins around us really fast?

yea

we put rocks from the ground together in a special way and sent them to mars

then talked to the glorified rocks

maybe it's a type of fool who will journey into unknown - ask the stupid questions,

but evidently, the real fool is the one that will never asks the questions

because empirically , when you ask a question, you start discovering new shit

we solved problems that were impossible

so i too, can do the impossible

what's next?

---------------------------------------------------------

inbuilt, programmed into my nature,

when i get anything, i want more

a desire to keep growing and changing , moving forward

i am merely mortal, but i have no understanding about limits of my conscious

but i struggle with being content

the best definition of man: a creature that has two legs and no sense of gratitude

i think its hard to be happy

I feel like a broken record,

but i feela regression in our humanity, 

the modern dark ages

the fall of rome

when did it become cool to glorify mediocrity

the influencer is a social parasite

which we brainfeed on through our mobiles

the cords piercing my skull,

my brain squelches,

gluggluglguglug

pulsating.

dopamine

needdopam--------

a dependence on external validation

our identity built through projected perceptions

our daily lives as status symbols

i only went to see Kendrick if i got 103 likes and 391 story views

my night out is a status symbol

look what I'm doing

no literally, look what I'm doing

why do i write?

fragments of life 

the shards of glass from a smashed mirror

anywayt, hope this read tickled a partof your brain

-d 

OH,

ps. here's some gentle sounds for your evening

SOLSTICE

bol

 i need to take a piss.

,.,.....................................................................

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i will

watch................................................................. ........................................................................ ...................................................................... ........_____________))()()(()&%%%%$$@@##@@

we move.

weird video lol. we are going to a ball.

KRITOR

i want to be larger nbbb

HOMME CASA  I >>>WD:SD

i just wna tot see the lag not be lag

but its a fun surpirse

enjoy the trash vlogging experience

did you understand 

 fuck crown,

wont catch me back there

security guards are =retards

high on a power trip

superiority complex

you are as human as me\

simply another man

I am just the guy who gets kicked out of events

i don't take bullshit from another jhuamn

i will speak my mind,.

if that;s an issue,

webhaveissue